Recently, I saw this fantastic Netflix original movie called Darlings which was about a girl finding her way to fight back against the domestic violence and abuse that she was facing. When we see these things at a glance, it looks crazy how someone can be in this position right now and not protesting. But, the truth is that it is easier said than done. Being in that position is traumatizing beyond words, and a person who has been in that girl’s shoes could understand why she kept trying to fix her man until she finally met a saturation point.

Hey there Iris,

Watching that movie, I just had tears in my eyes and goosebumps all over my body. But, like most movies, I did not take this one just for entertainment purposes, but I gave it a thought and tried to make sense of the behavior of that girl. Why did she not call out when he first abused her? That is what I thought. 

The answer was straightforward, strength. 

Strength gives you courage, and courage gives you confidence. The confidence to say no and not put up with anything that doesn’t resonate with your soul.

I wonder, what is it about strength which is challenging to find? First, you have to think about yourself, and you’ll discover the guts to do anything. Then, all you need to do is break free from the self-created boundaries that never existed in the first place. They are and always will be the birth of your mind, so it becomes almost impossible for a person in that position to stand up for themself. The thought process of breaking free from something you found endearing or comforting is scary, but sometimes it’s so necessary. Almost like drinking water to survive because you don’t know how much you have hurt yourself internally while not finding fearlessness. At that moment, you should understand the motive. Why do you need to find courage in the first place? And that motive will act as a guiding light to move forward. It will feel unsettling like when you do something you have never done before for the first time, you will make a lot of people unhappy in this process, and you will have to fight your heart. Still, once you do that .. you will find the strength to resist anything without a tear in your eye. You will become more aware of yourself, everything around you, and most importantly, the reality.

Finding that awareness will always give you the strength to fight everything for your happiness.

All this can sound sad to some people, but to me, it’s the best gift god could ever give you—a chance to find strength after surviving everything without it. The earlier you realize it, the better your life will be, and then it will just get better with time, even when you don’t ask for it.

I remember the things I never thought I could or would have been able to do by just finding strength.

All you need to do is challenge yourself, like when you challenge yourself to be better every day, or when you look at that steep mountain that you need to climb for the first time… you remember the feeling you get in your stomach? It’s such a big mountain; I have never done this before. What if I fall? What if I get tired in between and can’t move further? What if the weather goes wrong and it becomes almost impossible to move forward? What if I am out of supplies? What if I get an injury? So many what-ifs stop you from making that first step where you realize that you are a natural at climbing mountains because you aced it the first time you ever did. And then you know that you don’t want to stop doing it because this makes you happy. So, just the lack of strength to start the trek prevents you from finding your happiness. If you think of this deeply, then honestly, there are so many things we shy away from looking at the journey and deny our joy because we don’t have the willpower to fight our self-limiting thoughts.

I think finding the strength to do many things is a struggle for people every day. But, still, being a part of that boat, I can tell you that you jump off that boat even if there is endless water around you. You will think you can die if you jump but when you do, you will swim through. The waves will guide you to the magnificent island across the sea, which you could have never been on if you never went off that boat in between the deep blue ocean, not moving and still as it can be, and you will never have the regret of not getting out of that lonely boat where you don’t want to be. 

I read this valuable write-up on the speaking tree while trying to find strength, which helped me ponder where I want to be, so I am sharing it with anyone who needs to hear this.

Once, a person decided to realize his dream. Only he didn’t have enough strength to do it. Then he turned to his mother:

– Mother, help me!

– Darling, I would be glad to help you, only I don’t have it. And everything I have, I already give to you…

He asked a wise man:

– Master, tell me, where can I get the strength?

– It is said that it is on Everest. Only I couldn’t find anything there, except the snowy winds. And when I came back, the time was irretrievably lost…

He asked the hermit:

– Holy Father, where to find the strength to realize my dream?

– In your prayers, my son. And if your dream is false, you will understand it and find peace in your prayers…

Who didn’t the person ask, but his search results were only confusing?

– Why are you so confused? – asked an older man passing by.

– Yes, I have a dream, good man. But I don’t know where to find the strength to realize it. I asked everyone already- from Everest to hell. But no one could help me.

– Not everyone – a light flashed in an older man’s eyes – did you ask yourself that?

That girl in the movie never found the Strength to be just to herself when other people kept telling her to do it, but only when she saw it in herself.

It blows my mind to realize that the Strength which helped me out was inside me always. I just needed to find it and that no one can do for you but yourself.

You’ll change post finding courage, and everything will look new,

It will be overwhelming,

and you will question what did you choose,

But one day, very soon, you will look at yourself in the mirror and thank yourself, 

because you will see the person, you have ever wished for,

and yes, you survived the hell.

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